We Are Grieving Together

In the past week, I have been using the lens of “The Grief Process” when looking at the current chaos in our nation and around the world. I find an understanding of grief gives a vantage point that adds self-understanding, compassion and hope to my experience.

As I acknowledge my own feelings of loss, denial, bargaining, anger, and depression I can stop looking outside of myself for reasons why I am off balance. I can pull back from looking for someone to blame or someone to come in and put life back to how it has “always been.”

I find compassion in seeing that we are all experience multiple losses. There have been over 150,000 deaths in this country which are being mourned by family members, friends and co-workers. There are individuals and communities that have lost their economic base and financial ability to meet basic human needs. Still others have watched long years of preparation hit the wall of there being no way of continuing forward along the old course to their aspirations and dreams. We are going through this grief process together. Each of us has our own unique mixture of losses, but we are all riding the waves as individuals and cultures.

I find hope, because I know grieving is a process that leads to healing. It is messy, unreasonable, uncontrollable and unpredictable. Even so, history shows us how the human family has moved through grief in all its forms and intensities. All of us will know grief sometime in our lives. It is part of our common human experience.

We are all in this process together. Each one of us is experiencing loss in a unique way because of our cultural, economic, psychological, spiritual and physical setting. Not to mention our specific gifts, strengths and outlook on life. Every day, some people are raging with frustration and others have pulled the covers back over their head not able to get out of bed. Some are busy trying to get other people to behave in a more controlled and logical manner, and others are banging off the walls not knowing which direction to turn to find solid ground. Multiply the emotional turmoil of one grieving person by millions and is it any wonder that we are crashing into one another and finding it hard to find balance.

We will make it through the grief. As individuals and cultures we will begin discovering the small steps that allow us to walk forward into a new was of living. It will not be smooth or quick, but it is inevitable. In the meantime, we are all sharing this most human experience of grief. We are all grieving together.

 

5 thoughts on “We Are Grieving Together

  1. Hi Nancy,
    This post arrived as I lay awake worrying about my wife who is battling what might be poorly referred to as a nervous breakdown for the second time in a few weeks, as her mother lay in palliative care awaiting end of life. My wife is helpless and grieving and for the first time in my life I feel out of control on how to help her despite all my empathy and knowledge. I will take receipt of this post as a sign of the importance of relying on our collective community. Thank you and I’m sorry if my own message is overwhelming for any reason. Take care. -Alex

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    1. Dear Alex,
      I can hear in your words how overpowering your wife’s grief is right now. Any time we lose someone so close to us, the emotions can come in such powerful waves that they knock us off of our feet. There is really nothing anyone can do for us, beyond being a loving presence, that we at times can not even acknowledge, because all of our attention is on the stories in our mind and the complex blend of feelings whipping through us. There is an exhaustion that sets in and sleep can help give some relief. What you are calling a nervous breakdown is one of the built-in safety reactions that stops us in our tracks because there is no other way of letting our system shut down for a while.

      I hear your love for your wife. Even if she can not respond to it, it is surrounding her, filling her and sustaining her. You are already providing an environment of support. She is moving through what she needs to experience in her life at this time, and your love is providing the strength she needs to move on through.

      The Love that holds us all, is holding you both. Rest back into the Sacred, letting it hold your weight as a bed holds the weight of your body. It is in times like these, when we come to the end of our own strength that we find the Love and Light of life helping us to just keep breathing.

      I hope these words may help in some way. Please feel free to email me to continue sharing this.

      If you feel comfortable with it, I will approve your comment to be published to the small community that reads my website, and include this response. I want to know your wishes before I do that.
      May you all feel enfolded in the Love and Light that called us into being.

      Nancy

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  2. a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; }

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    /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com ❤💕💞 Omg, Nancy, 🙏 🙏🙏 This! The most loving one can do. So greatly put into words. Thank you. “…There is really nothing anyone can do for us, beyond being a loving presence, th

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  3. I don't want "my old life back", as many put it right now. Or "back to [a] normal" I often did not experience as normal. For me this time is a gift. To calm down, to slow down in order to find – or rediscover – my natural speed, to recover from the "treadmill", to let exhaustion be felt at all took (still takes) a long time and strenuous battle. Might sound funny and still it needs courage. And, slowly, being free to relax into essentials almost doing themselves, wu-wei-ish 😉, and sometimes creative spouts, sometimes energetic 🚴‍♂️🚴‍♀️ tours, sometimes ambling walks🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️ in the cool of the night, and awareness for rest, getting more balanced … – still learning, while walking. Namasté dear friends 🙏💕🥰– Diese Nachricht wurde von meinem Android Mobiltelefon mit GMX Mail gesendet.

    a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; }

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    /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com

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