As I look forward to the transformation of our lives — toward living in harmony, honor and peace within nature — my habitual mind wants me to focus on the specifics. It has all kinds of questions about the what, when and where of this transition. It wants to pin me down about how life will work with all of the day to day details. In general, it wants to push for answers I do not have, in hopes of boxing me back in and convincing me to stay the culturally approved course for someone my age and background.
Also, we have told friends and relatives that we are preparing to birth something new in our lives. This puts us in a communal as well as individual gestation process. Those who love us are being asked to integrate a different image of Bill/Nancy into their experience. They have to find how it fits with who they have known us to be; their images of appropriate living in the senior years; and their own life experiences and inner voices. We know that this it not an easy thing for some of them to do, and so we will stay quiet and open, hoping to respond to them in a way that mirrors their love for us.
Both of these processes tend to throw me into the mental habit of “figuring things out.” Yet, at the core of this journey is the heart, and not the brain. My human perspective can not lead me through the inner transformation that is involved in stepping out of the main culture into a life lived for the healing of Mother Earth and her children. For that, I seek the spiritual wisdom within.
I recently asked, in a Shamanic journey, if there is a power animal guide who has specific wisdom for this transition period in my life. Golden Eagle is the one who appeared. My perspective can not be earthbound, but must be broader. The focus should be on “weaving an appropriate human expression within nature.” (I am not quite sure what that message means). This is not about a change in the size and shape of my home, but in my understanding that I am not a separate being in relationship with nature and light, I am nature and light – one strand in the web of all life.
Eagle offers to carry me, so I can gain perspective and so I can learn his trust in riding the air currents. There is no illusion that I will control Eagle in his dance with the wind. The way events, people, circumstances and created things flow in, around, and through our lives will remain a mystery. Not all winds are gentle or sweet. We do not need them to be. Learning to trust that all of the experiences of life are moving on currents that nurture our becoming is the heart of this journey.
So, I will continue to listen with my heart, and to focus on what it means for me to become “an appropriate weaving of a human expression within nature.”