Fears at the Threshold

I am deeply grateful to be part of a monthly drumming circle led by Della Clark at Spiritwalker Retreats here in Mount Shasta. Led by Della’s drum, we journey into the Unseen World to find guidance on whatever question we want to explore to help us face the challenges of lives. When the drum leads us back into this tangible world, we share the images and messages we have received from our helping spirits. Often we find that there is an echo that moves among the messages which further feeds our understanding of how to live more fully from soul and heart.

I am at the threshold of a new expression of my soul’s work in the world. It is time for me to help others embrace and integrate their experiences with the Unseen mystery into their daily lives. I know that everything in my life has prepared me for this and that it is time to integrate and share what I have to offer. But I have been frozen here, uncertain about the descriptions, frameworks and practical elements needed to birth this into being.

In recent days, this process has led to a growing dread and fear. During last night’s drumming circle, I journeyed to find a way to work with these fears. Sharing it with the circle last night and with you now weaves it more fully into my daily experience.

As the drum beat carried me I went down through the floor of the ocean and into a deep cave. The walls had many crevasse like the open work of lava. I was aware of a presence of luminous light in the midst of the cave, but I was not sure where to find the fears I was looking for.

“Look in the corners and in the deepest crevasses,” I was told.

There, each huddled by itself, tiny arms through over heads to avoid being seen, were my fears. They were small and helpless creatures, cowering away from the light.

“Why are they hiding?” I asked.

The luminous one smiled gently and told me,

They are afraid of me. They believe that they will be revealed as unworthy. They are afraid that they will be met with judgment rather than with acceptance and love. Most of all they dread being seen as they are.

I thought for a moment, and then asked the luminous one if there was another form it could take.

The light swirled in the air and floated to the floor as lovely, soft, fragrant rose petals. They were white with pink edges and soft shades of yellow. Some remained suspended in the air carried on a gently spiraling current.

One after the other, the tiny creatures of fear came out of hiding. Soon they were all bouncing in the petals on the floor, flinging them up over their heads, letting them rain down all around them. A few lay on the ground and buried themselves in the sweetness of the scent. The fears closed their eyes and I watched the scent and color, vibration and joy of the petals move in and through their beings.

When they opened their eyes, each and every one of these tiny fear beings had transformed into a being of dancing light. They joined hands and moved in a circle dance, looking at and being seen by all and finding themselves cherished.

“Are you ready to go back up to the surface?” I asked.

All agreed and the rose petal spiral current strengthened and lifted us all up to the surface of the ocean. There we enjoyed floating in the sunshine, feeling the fresh breeze and the supporting water. Then we went to the beach to dance and play until the drum called me back to the room where my journey began. As I returned, all of these transformed fears nestled back within my being, taking their place among all the feelings and emotions of my life.

I know that these fears will sometimes separate out to grip and stir within me. But now I know where to go and look for them. I have a hint about how to free them from their belief that they are separate from the rest of life and must stay hidden.

As I wrote about this journey, I told these little ones again that I will not leave them alone. I will always come to find them and bring them back home within me because we share this amazing world of solid being.

I do not know what is unfolding in my life’s work. I have hints and ideas about what it means to stand on the shore of the Unseen Mystery and add my voice to invite people to discover this feeling of being deeply interwoven with all of life. It is my hope that within the next few weeks you will find a new website with invitations to join me in answering the call of the Source. It has been calling every one of us since before we were born. It is beckoning us into our way of living for the highest well being of all within the web of life.

I will keep you posted.

Peace and Joy,
Nancy