Healing of Word Bullets

I didn’t feel the aimed word hit,
and go in like a soft bullet.
I didn’t feel the smashed flesh closing over it
like water over a thrown stone.
From Louise Penny’s “The Cruelest Month”

We can all relate to this image. We know the feeling of the judging look; of the bemused smile as though what we just said makes no sense, “but what can you expect.” We know the words of criticism that were meant to harm rather than encourage, to make us stop rather than grow. Some of them were misinterpretations and misunderstanding. When we were children, it was easy to think that every emotional reaction and every angry word were our fault. We believed that something we said, thought or did created these frightening reactions in people we trusted and looked to for truth.

Exterior messages are added. We are told that we are not very athletic; not good at math; not artistic or mechanical. There are spoken questions about our choice of career or hobby; our choice of a life companion or home. These “word bullets” can also come as the quizzical look when we are speaking of something dear to our heart, or the redirecting of a conversation away from something we value.

As we internalize them, “word bullets” become the messages that our conditioned minds use to limit and control us. They become the obstacles that distort incoming acceptance and praise into judgment and criticism. We tease about a compliment bouncing off our forehead to hit the far wall, but we also know the truth of that experience.

Like any foreign object, that does not belong within our being, there is a second innate response to these invading thought forms. We form a protective shield around them, encapsulating them and forming a kind of scar tissue. When deep damage is done, the scar tissue can be new rules we create about how we will live our life to avoid experiencing this pain again. These are sometime called intrusions, because they intrude on the natural flow of our life. They make our lives smaller and limit the flow of love and life through our being.

HEALING FROM WORD BULLET AND INTRUSIONS

Wanting to be free of these limitations, I asked for a journey to heal the word bullets in my own life. In a ceremony, I had written out a few of the “word bullets,” that have distracted me from living my life fully. While it is tempting to ask for all of them to be removed, it is much more kind and healing to release them a few at a time as they come to mind. This allows me to be completely open to the healing work without it becoming overwhelming or triggering a healing crisis.

I met with my healing GrandMother there at the circle of wise elder women. There were many other women in this healing ceremony and a circle of men were experiencing the same ritual, not far away.

I was able, without reciting all of them, to relay all the bullets and intrusions I had written down for this ceremony. As I spoke, a circle of women moved around me. First there was one woman who brought a sharp shard of bone and thrust it into my solar plexus. She extracted a “bullet” with the gore that had surrounded it to keep it from killing my body. Soon, there were a number of women working all over my body, removing similar pellets and allowing the ooze to drain from countless wounds.

I was told that the same was being done for many men and women who were seeking this kind of healing.

It felt like it took a while, and I was told that it was time to allow the love and light to now wash in and through these old wounds. It is a process. First, the “word bullets” are hollowed out and the wound cleansed with healing light. This felt like having great boulders removed and the flow of clear, soothing, pure water move through all the now open areas in my physical body – carrying light and sparkle and effervescence. I was told that the healing is complete, and yet the full renewal of the creative and life energy flow will be something I will discover over time. Once these deep places within have been restored to balance, it is possible for our original wholeness to be restored. Regeneration of what had been lost will take some time, but the process has begun.

FORGIVENESS AS PART OF HEALING:
Forgiveness is essential to this process as a means of shifting our perception of the self from that of victim, to that of a whole and capable individual. To release the traumatic impact of word bullets and intrusions is to let go of all that still ties our life to the experience of being wounded. Lack of forgiveness is a tether to the one whose actions caused us harm, so that instead of being free to leave them behind, they continue to be the determining factor in the quality of our life.

At times, we hold onto the wounds and all of the physical repercussions they bring to our life, as though our failure to thrive will somehow punish the one who we hold responsible. Refusing to forgive another is like drinking poison and expecting it to make another ill. At some point in our evolution, we need to stop drinking the poison and cut the cord of holding someone else responsible for the unfolding of our life. Until we do, it is very difficult to truly live from the reality of our own wholeness, health and creative energy for life.

When the source of the wound and its encapsulating gore has been removed, I am not left to “just get over it.” Instead, there in the feeling of having love and light poured over and through my whole being, like a balm. There is no emptiness left where there used to be pain. Instead, in this timeless reality, my original being can be restored as though the wound had not occurred. My ability to allow light and love to flow freely through me is restored.

It is a process and not, at least for me, an instantaneous transformation. As I repeat this ritual, with more and more challenging wounds from my life, I find that some take longer than others to heal. The process seems to unfold outside my awareness and I notice it more in hindsight. My mind will go back to that particular sore spot of memory and can not find the old reaction. It no longer is an automatic hook for fear, anger, self-doubt, or pain. The experience remains, but the wound and the scar both seem to have faded away.

I share these images because this kind of healing is available to anyone at any time, and there are many ways to open ourselves to it. If Shamanic Journey work interests you I hope you will find the following resources helpful.

Resources:

Sandra Ingerman has taught courses on Shamanism for those in the western culture for over 40 years. She has several books on shamanic journey and provides a list of shamanic practitioners who she has trained

Sounds True has provided a number of video workshops and courses on shamanic practice through the years. They are one of my favorite organizations working with spiritual development. You can search their site by topic or through their on-line learning.

 

Beacons Through Time and Space

starryskyOver the past few weeks, I have been waking up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. For me this waking comes from my spiritual ancestors inviting me to have time with the stars. This morning, it was 4:30 and I was just in time for the last bright planets in the dawning light.

Stars are beacons through time and space, showing us a process happening millions of years ago, so far away that the numbers boggle the mind. They have been shining on this planet all of Earth’s lifetime, linking us in their light with all living beings, everywhere.

I have had several shamanic journeys that included messages about the stars. One of my favorites was to a circle of people, sitting under the broad night sky in early aboriginal times in what is now Australia. One on my helping spirits took me there to show me where stars come from. As I watched, each individual began with a gesture near their heart that brought out a thread of golden light. They each worked this glistening substance in their hands, rolling it into a ball. Next, they used the same gesture at their brow to draw a strand of light from their mind. This was wrapped around the ball to coat it. Finally, they drew light from the area of their navel, and as they stirred it at the surface of the ball, it became a swirling light within it. Finally, when all had finished, they held the ball of light in their hands for another moment, and then gently tossed it into the sky, where it remained as a new star.

I was told that the light used did not come from the individual, but through them. The light of the infinite love of the Universe from the heart; the light of ancient wisdom and insight from the mind; and the light of connection to deep integrity and original purpose from the navel are brought together in each star. They are placed in the sky to offer illumination, inspiration and guidance for all future generations.

The other day, during a drumming circle ceremony, I received another star focused journey. I had been feeling overwhelmed by all of the teaching, information, and spiritual practices from various traditions which have filled my last couple of months. In the journey, I was again led out under a star-filled sky and invited to look up. I was told to remember that each of the billions of stars holds light, love, wisdom and purpose as gifts to humankind. Right now, we need as many of these gifts as we can receive to help us navigate the current transformation of our way of life. “It is okay to let your mind boggle,” my guide assured me. “What you need to take in will resonate within your soul. Let everything wash over you and then turn inward to see what is yours to live from your heart.”

In that spirit, I write these words and share these images. These are overwhelming times, but we are not alone. The love and light from throughout time and space are here to guide us safely as we find our way ahead, one step at a time.

Canyon Land Ceremony

Canyon at SunsetI would like, in these days of turmoil, to offer images and ceremonies that I have received through my shamanic journey practice. Shamanic journey is an ancient way of leaving the ordinary, problem-solving mind behind and finding the deeper wisdom of the timeless non-ordinary realm. I am often surprised by the beauty, love and grace of what I experience. I hope that what I share gives you encouragement along your path.

This first ceremony came as an invitation to release what I felt needed to be forgiven in my life. In these days, I am glad to be able to return to this place to find courage to face my fears, suffering, shame and regret at my complicity in the perpetuation of prejudice and inequality within the human family.

My notes from Canyon Lands of Healing:

This journey took me to a glorious canyon of red rock, etched and textured to catch the sun. We were at the base of the canyon and there was a gathering of indigenous people around a bonfire..

There were drummers and dancers, but my focus was drawn by a woman elder, who fixed me with her eyes and invited me to a smaller circle – a mixture of people of all races. She was my partner, while there were pairings of each seeker with Elders of the People. She told me that this ceremony is available to anyone at any time. All seekers are welcome and those who have held this space and performed this ritual for eons, work beyond all time and space.

The purpose of the ceremony was to allow me to pour out my sense of shame and embarrassment – to ask for forgiveness for my failures in life. This was actually done very quickly and non-verbally. I just looked in her eyes, and she could see all that I was releasing. It was not the snapshots of memory, but the feeling states that go with them that were the outpouring. Her eyes remained calm, accepting, understanding. She did not interrupt, it was purely my process of revealing the pains of my soul to her. She was there to listen to it all – to let me pour out my whole story of myself and of my need for forgiveness. I sensed that she would have remained there with me for lifetimes if I had needed her to.

When I was at last finished – all shame, humiliation, penitence, sense of abject failure having been revealed, she invited me to sit in the circle with the other seekers who had had this same experience with their own listening Elder of the People.

Several figures came forward carrying empty wooden bowls their hands. One of them came to me and held the bowl near my heart. I watched as what I had released poured into the bowl as a thick, rich rust colored liquid. At first I thought it was blood, but I was assured that it was just the color of my sorrow/shame. As it poured from me it became a paint or pigment. The other seekers had similar experiences, with each one’s heart releasing a different colored essence: a variety of the red, rust, sienna, orange, gold and tan that are familiar in canyon lands.

Each of these figures then took their bowl of pigment, and flew to the walls of the canyon, high above our circle and began painting minute details that added to the richness and texture of the canyon walls.

We were told that what we released with shame, would add to the glorious beauty of sunrises and canyon walls and wildflowers in the ordinary world, as it did here. Our released energy was transformed back to its original creative state to become a rich gift to the worlds above and below.

Whenever I imagine myself back in that place, my wonderful Elder of the People is there to me. I look into her eyes and know that I can not lie to her, and that I will hear the truth in whatever I tell her. And then the bowls appear and the pigment emerges and the painters use my dross as luminescent paint to add another subtle touch of vibrancy to the canyon. As I face the truth of my own heart, I add beauty to the world.

This can be a journey of imagination for you any time you are ready. I wish you a blessed experience of truth and healing.

Welcoming and Tender Release

Regeneration artThe rituals which support us in our connection with ourselves, humankind, and all of Creation remain fluid and changing, like the position along the horizon where the sun first appears in the morning sky. In recent days, my morning and evening practice has grown to include rituals of loving greeting and tender release of what is entering and leaving our world.

As the days grow longer and the mornings warmer I  spend more time outside between dawn and sunrise. Most mornings I begin with singing my love for the land, water, air, sunlight and the love within all living beings. The individual verses grow longer as I express gratitude for all of the expressions of nature; the flow of change as well as the gift of clean water; wind as breath of life and of spirit, and sunlight which enlivens heart, body  and mind.

A few of days ago, I returned to a place I have visited before in shamanic journey. The Grandmothers are sitting at the edge of the Void; the place where embryonic thought energy enters the flow of creation to take on tangible form. They sit cross-legged with their skirts in the edge of the viscous semi-liquid of the Void. Here the tiny “about to be” energies swim into the basket of their skirt and pause to experience their blessing before they move forward into being.

Following their example, I lift an “about to be” up and kiss it with great tenderness. I sing joy to it and allow light and love to flow from my heart into its being. I then release it into the Void to continue its journey into whatever form it will take. These are not my thoughts, and I do not recognize anything about what they will become. My task is simply to add light and love as they begin their earth-bound journey.

I have returned to this practice because my focus has been captured by what is being released from our lives, and all of the life that is leaving the Earth. At the beginning of the day, it is important to bring my focus on what will emerge beyond this current crisis. There is an endless circle of becoming, taking form, expressing one’s gift, and leaving this place to return one’s energy to the Sacred Source of all new becoming. It helps me find my balance to acknowledge that this cycle continues, like the phases of the moon and the turn of the seasons.

In the evenings, I go back outside at the time when many are joining in solidarity in the Howl of sorrow, grief, loss, loneliness, mourning for what is dying in our lives. I sing to prepare and then do a ceremony of Honorable Closure. My drumming helps me journey into the unseen world where ceremonies are held to insure that every living being, every expression of creativity which leaves this world is acknowledged and honored. Before it leaves, each energy being receives deep gratitude for what it has added to the beauty and diversity of this world. To all that are leaving there is the tender blessing for a loving and joyful journey home. At the end of the ceremony, I add gratitude for all of the living beings who remain here in these difficult times. All of us make our unique contribution to this journey of becoming.

These two rituals form good bookends for my day and help me hold my focus. In these days, deepening my love and relationship with all living beings is the key for my life.

We can all share these rituals, whether using shamanic practice or imagination. First, quiet the chatter of the mind and ease the tension in our bodies. This can be supported by singing, dancing, doing movement like Qi Gong… for about ten minutes. Then, leaving habitual thought patterns behind, we move into a place outside of time and space to remember our place within the Web of Life. We remember that at our core, we are love and light, and from our core we bless all of creation.

I hope you will try this in the days ahead. Please write, either in the comment section of this page, or to me at earthcenterednancy@gamil.com to share your experiences.

Looking Through the Wave

WaveAs I stand on the threshold of this new decade, an unexpected joy and spaciousness greets me. For days my focus has been on how pivotal this decade is in terms of the Climate Crisis. If we fail to totally change the way we fuel our lives and our economy within this ten years, we will pass the crucial tipping point in global warming. The resulting cascade of environmental changes could lead to an Earth that can no longer support human life. So, why is there hope and joy bubbling up from my core?

It comes from an understanding of my role, and the task for all of us who are committed to living an Earth-centered life in our later years. We are called to become the Elders of our culture and to serve as spiritual elders have for centuries, as those who see in that darkness and look through to the light.

Here is what I experienced in a recent shamanic journey:

I was standing on a beach as an old woman, wearing a simple long dress, with a shawl draped over my head and shoulders. I was facing out to sea. In the near distance was a 500 foot standing wave.  It was a solid wall of water, which had paused for a moment before crashing into the shore where I stood.

I was not afraid, and there was no urge to turn and run. There was nothing I could do to stop or change the wave. I was asked to look straight at it and on through it to what exists beyond. What I saw was a vibrantly alive forest and a pristine, thriving Earth. There were many varieties of plants and animals in the undergrowth.

When I asked about humans, I was told that they no longer live in big concrete structures. I was shown a gathering of small hut-like homes made of natural materials. The people emerged from their dwellings, walked out into an open meadow and began singing their love for all of the gifts of the Earth and stars. I was told that the People had rediscovered the heart of gratitude and harmony.

The general message was to stay calm. Look through the noise, confusion and chaos of these times. Hold in focus the Web of Life returned to vibrant health and balance.

It was a call for us to serve as the Wise Elders of our culture. We are here, to do deep spiritual work to aid the transformation of the relationship of humankind to the natural world, and to the Sacred Source of Life. The changes needed in our outer lives can only be empowered by a renewed love for all living beings. When every expression of the natural world is a dear member of our family to be honored, served and cherished, we will rediscover our appropriate place within the Web of Life.

This is a huge challenge, and we are those who are here at this time, and at this point in our lives to meet it. There is no panic, no hurry, only the clear gaze of those who can see through the wall of water that separates us from Life. We stand together, looking into the future. We focus on the Earth beyond, in which our children’s children to the seventh, the fourteenth and the twenty-first generations will find joy and peace.

To honor our common spiritual journey of the healing of Earth and Her Children, I am now offering one-on-one Spiritual Direction. This process of bringing all of life into focus around the sacred nature of life is open to people of all spiritual traditions and practices. For more information, follow the link above or contact me at earthcenterednancy@gmail.com.

Joy to the World

jump-for-joy_0Joy is one of the most sacred, healing and enlivening energies in the universe. It is at the heart of many of the celebrations of this season. It is also easily overshadowed by the cultural expectations, emotional investment and economic drive of these last days before Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I want to call us back to this transformative flow of joy as the best possible gift to both give and receive this season and throughout the coming year.

Why do I cling to my barriers to Joy? I, along with many adult humans, have learned that there is something dangerous about this illusive force. There are some powerful myths that we seem to take in with our mother’s milk and never question throughout our lives. One of these is that if you allow yourself to feel joy, with every cell of your being, that the next experience in your life will be one of tragedy and loss. We have been conditioned to believe that joy is a gift that at any moment will be snatched from our hands and sent crashing to the floor, to teach us never to reach for it again.

As a defense, our mind calls joy a “soft emotion,” appropriate for small children and elderly relatives. Those of us with any common sense know that it is dangerous and not to be trusted. But that is only because it is so very powerful in transforming our perception of the world, and therefore the quality of our lives.

Joy rises from that place of mystery, between unseen energy and visible expression in the world. When joy emerges, it comes as an irresistible force, almost volcanic in power, bursting forth from deep within. Joy is what makes the sprout push upward through the soil into the sunshine. It is what drives the beat of the drum and the soaring of the music. Joy makes the flames of the fire leap and dance. It is joy that wells up within the human dancers, fueling their exuberance and movement. When it breaks out from the core of our being, it changes everything we see, hear, taste, touch, intuit.

Consider the truly joy-filled people you have encountered in your life. You have surely met at least one person whose whole being shines with light, love, and peace. These are not naive or feeble-minded individuals. They have lived life fully, experiencing both happiness and sorrow, illness and health, gains and losses. They have also learned the secret to overcoming the fear that joy will lead inevitably to grief. They have discovered the power of gratitude. Gratitude for what brings them joy, but also gratitude for everything that occurs in their lives.

I would invite you to consider this simple opening to joy:

Each morning, as my day begins, I sing my gratitude to the elements of nature and all the living beings who share the beauty of this place. I ask to live in harmony and balance. I offer my thanks for my life, this land and the man I share my life with.

As evening comes, I offer gratitude for everything that happened during the day. Everything.  Sometimes it is a new awareness of how petty and self-absorbed I am, and how I let anger and fear take too much of my day. Other times wisdom or friendship have taken me to a new place of understanding. Whatever has happened, I welcome it as a gift to help me see my unique human experience on the Earth. All that is revealed adds to my willingness to question the barriers I carry that keep me from living in freedom, simplicity and joy.

In this season, may we all follow the lead of the little ones and old folks who laugh freely and sing playfully. May we enjoy those who are openly light-hearted and shine their love into our lives. May we find joy infectious and irresistible.

In the words of the song from Three Dog Night:

Singin’ joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

 

Each One a Living Dance – Poem

This poem emerged as I was waking up the other morning. It was born in that place between sleep and wakefulness –  words tapping themselves into being on my computer keyboard.

As I reread the words, they are exactly what I want to say to family members and dear friends; neighbors and coworkers; classmates and students; teachers and guides. They are the promise I want to make to strangers and loved ones.

They are the words I will speak, looking into my own eyes in the mirror. I invite you to do the same.

Now, in deep gratitude, I speak them to you.

5196498-color-twist

EACH ONE A LIVING DANCE

I will not hold you in a static form:
for you are a brilliant dance of energy,                                                 shifting and changing in each second,
becoming more than any imagination can hold.

I will not lock you into my “knowing:”
for that is just my limited mind
reassuring itself through the ability                                                to categorize and find familiar patterns.

I will not confine you in terms and descriptions:
for they speak of the past and of the surface,
missing the eternity of your being,
and the constant transformation in all things.

I will open to your becoming.
Only your own soul knows your road,
for it alone recognizes the dream
which invited you here in the beginning.

I will embrace the mystery of your unfolding.
No other will ever carry this dance of
emerging, expressing and releasing
for it is your unique gift.

I will listen to the song of your creation.
It alone reflects the riches of your being,
singing out in vibration: color as well as pitch,                                       to birth the dawning of a new day.

 

 

 

On the Outside!

IMG_4272I had one of those moments the other morning when suddenly the perspective shifts and everything changes form. The wisdom that dropped in months ago suddenly makes perfect sense.

It happened during my morning ritual of watching the new day dawn. I was looking at the colors dance in the clouds across the valley, gazing past widely spaced cottonwood trees, and over grasslands. Then something sprang into focus that has been right here all along. It is the small swimming pool surrounded by a concrete skirt and a wrought iron fence in our son’s side yard. I looked at that fence, hugging an 15 x 20 space and began to laugh.

You see, back in October, I wrote a post “The Prison of Our Culture,” including:

As I was seeking deep wisdom for our transition out of this culture and economy, the thought suddenly appeared, “You will stand at the prison bars forever shaking them and struggling with them, and the jailer will never let you out. But if you will turn around and begin walking the other direction, you will find that you can walk through the walls that you imagine hold you in.”

I had forgotten that in our culture we build fences to define what is ours and to keep others out. Those who have acquired wealth, power and property put up fences around themselves and then convince everyone else that they really want to be allowed in. We all gather on the outside of the bars, pushing through pay checks, time, talent and life energy, hoping that those inside will receive these gifts and find us worthy of entering in. Every now and then, the gate swings open to allow someone in, so the rest feel that they too will some day enter the chosen ground.

What we do not see is that those inside are the ones imprisoned. Fenced in to protect what they have and cut off from the riches beyond the boundary. We are held in place, hands on the bars, because we are look the wrong direction. When we turn around, we discover all the wonder of the natural world, given without price – abundant for all to receive.

I come out in the mornings to live my gratitude for all of the stars filling the predawn sky which speak to my heart of vast open spaces and light that travels through time. There are the cliff and canyons, pebbles and rocks that give solid form to this beautiful land. There are grasses, bushes, shrubs, trees and many other members of the plant family, all adding color and texture and life. There are four-legged, winged, crawlers, swimmers and one who slither, moving with howl of coyote and rustling grass of rabbit. There is the gift of water in the nearby streams, in the San Pedro River, within my body, and coursing through all living things. There is the wind – the breath of the spirit and the breath of our life, given freely. It carries vibration through the cosmos and dances with the wings of hawks. There is the sunrise, seen by billions of living creatures this morning as they look to the horizon for the light of a new day. With light come the gifts of vision and colors so varied from subtle to brilliant that they make my heart leap. There is the gift of the divine light within every human soul. The call to be one vibrant strand in the Web of Life with all humankind, all living beings and all the expressions of creation.

So, why would I ever cling to the bars again. I am a rich woman. I have no need to fight my way in. I will sit here, surrounded by beauty and filled with gratitude. A free woman indeed.

 

 

Dedication of My Life

I wrote and began living these vows in November. Throughout the preparations for our move and transition to Arizona they were in the foreground. Over the past few weeks they have been obscured by learning new things and building new connections. I am therefore especially grateful for the turning of the year as a time to remember and reintegrate them into my breathing, my waking, my dreaming and my living.

I ask those of you who read them now to be my witnesses – those who hold me and my intention in love and light.

DEDICATING MY LIFE IN DEVOTION TO THE WHOLENESS OF                                      THE EARTH AND ALL HER CHILDREN

I dedicate my life – devoting my body, emotions, spirit, mind and soul to the healing and nurture of the Earth and all Her children in all expressions of life.

I will seek to clear any thing, thought, habit, issue, or memory which diverts my attention from this devotion.

I will seek the guidance of the helping spiritual ancestors in their many expressions, through ritual, ceremony and honoring of the Earth. I will place my trust in the wisdom and insights they provide, resting in a perspective that is higher and broader than my own.

I will do those actions, nurture those images and follow those works of disciplined mind that enhance my ability to live my life as a being of light, sheathed in a human, Earth-walk form. In doing this I honor the sacred core within every living being and expression of divine creativity.

I will serve with my physical time and energy where and how I am led by this deepest truth, not assuming need or lack, but adding my gift to the renewal of the Web of Life and the reflection of the Sacred in All that Is.

I will seek this deep wisdom for my decisions about my travels, priorities, standard and way of living my daily life, my writing, speaking and listening.

I will honor the inner call I feel to be a hollow bone – to be one through whom the Light and Love of the Sacred flow freely and without hindrance of ego and self-interest to the best of my ability in each moment.

I will keep the questions of “How can I live and What can I give of my deepest heart for the healing of the Earth today?” as my daily companions and supports of my devotion.

I will place living this life and walking this path at the center of my life, allowing them to be the pivotal expression of my Earth Walk.

I am answering a calling I received at latest in my youth, and possibly in many earlier lifetimes of seeking to be of service to this world. I say YES to expressing myself as a blending together of the elements of this beautiful planet, enlivened by the Light of All that Is – A Daughter of the Light and a Child of the Earth.

In my living, and one day in my dying, I will honor who I am called to be within the Web of Life.

Wind’s Gift to Lighten the Load

I am sharing a post I originally wrote to fellow participants in a class by Sandra Ingerman on Shamanic Journey. I like how I described the experience to that group and wanted to carry that tone here.

I want to continue sharing about our transition from house to RV and the guidance from helping spirits that is a vital part of it all.

For the past couple of months, I have been struggling with how I might carry my bookbinding and book repair business into our new life – playing with various options for less equipment or shared space. Then a couple of weeks ago I had an ideal booth, at a lovely outdoor craft fair – weather was wonderful – all conditions perfect.

I had set my handbook journals up on a bookshelf display and halfway through the afternoon – on a gentle breeze day, a gust of wind came up against the side of the canopy – created a huge sail and toppled the bookcase and books to the ground. It left many of the books with scratches and dented spines or corners and knocked the breath out of me.

My husband stayed with the booth and I went to walk in a quiet place to ask my helping spirits what was going on. When I had quieted enough to listen, the first message was that Wind is my friend and wanted to help end my struggling.

The next message that emerged is that all of this is too heavy to carry with me into the new life that is emerging. All of the supplies and equipment and work tasks weigh too much to pull along behind me. And finally “You can not both leave a culture and be bound up in it by having a business.”

Over the intervening weeks, while friends have begun adopting the damaged books and I have taken steps to close the business, a couple of things have become clear.

First, the transition I am approaching is very similar to when someone of the faith decides to take holy vows and join a convent or monastery. The question becomes, “How little of this present life can I take with me into the next? and Can I drop everything that attaches me to a previous identity so that I can dedicate myself fully to the healing of the Earth and all her Children?”

Second, it was Wind as Eagle that has been trying to teach me the freedom of flying and how little weight one can carry when on wings. I sense the joy and freedom that await as I release these old life weights. 
Finally, both my husband and I are discovering a dedication of body, mind and spirit that we have been working toward throughout our lives. It is a time of deep gratitude.

I hope that if others of you are in transition that you find the same release, freedom and joy that we are experiencing.
Peace and Harmony, Nancy